Spring Baseball and Bennett

It is spring and Bennett is playing baseball again. He is turning into a great pitcher. I love watching him play. I feel so proud when I watch him.The thing that makes me the proudest though is that he is a good teammate.  He tries to pick up his fellow teammates when they are down, he congratulates them, and tries to help them be better. I know he is a great player, but being a great person is the most important part of the equation. Although, I really do love to watch him pitch, this season it has been a thing of beauty…

Bennett pitching a strike. It was fast and straight.

#11 waiting to bat. He got a base hit this time.

It is not Guilt it is Realization of Time

In the past year, the demands of my job function have increased dramatically. I am fortunate that I love what I do as well as the company I work for. All of that aside, I am not home as much as I used to be. I was asked an interesting question last week. I was asked if I feel guilty because I am gone so much. At first I just smiled, then I thought about the answer. I love the mom guilt questions. I have never heard anyone ask a man if he feels guilty because he works hard to provide for his family. The answer I gave was this… I don’t feel guilt about the hours I spend working. I rarely feel guilt about any choices I make with my kids. There are some decisions, if I could change I would, however in the moment I did what I thought was best. It would be easy to look back and feel guilty that I did not do “this” or that I did “that”, but honestly, what would that do for me? Back to do I feel guilty about my time away from my family, in a word no. What I do feel is a realization of time. My kids are growing up so fast. Bennett is 11.5 and Brax is 1.5. I can’t tell you where the time with Bennett went. I look at him and am flooded with memories of the toddler and preschool years. I am beginning to realize how much time he spends with friends outside of our house. He is doing more and more without me. Time, time is ticking away. Braxton is a little person now. He went from baby to toddler in the blink of an eye. This weekend we hiked up to the top of the property and let him run around. He must have run for over an hour, exploring, climbing, chasing me, following me, and talking up a storm. I looked at him and thought about a year ago, he was not crawling or walking yet. We carried him everywhere and he was only saying mama and dada. Again, I am aware that time is speeding along, my boys are growing up.

Obviously more time with them would be ideal, but that is not a possibility. So I do two things. I try to spend as much time with Brax as I can. Even if it is just watching him play or telling him not to touch the dirty dishes in the dishwasher as I load it or snuggling or hiking, I just try to get time in. At his age it is all about the amount of time. Bennett on the other hand, I try to spend quality as well as quantity. Maybe it is B and I going to the store, just the two of us or sitting together chatting while watching a movie or going on a long quad ride looking for wildlife. I want to make the most of our time together. Lucky me, he is still a hugger. I love my big B hugs.

To wrap it up, guilt is not something I feel a lot of when it comes to my kids. I want to focus on the things that are great, the fun memories and the quiet times. When I realize I could have made a better decision, then I know for next time. My wish is that as mom’s we supported each other more and did not look for reasons that what another mom is doing is inadequate. I wish we could just all accept that everyone does it differently and that is okay. Lift your fellow mom up, because we all have days we need someone to tell us we are okay.

Here is how I know my munchkins are thriving…

Bennett is his full Seahawk gear this weekend. If I am honest, this is a daily outfit. I adore his love for his team. It reminds me of my love for my Niners at his age

Braxton rarely smiles for the camera, so I was so happy to get this shot this weekend. He is my munchkin!

The weather ideal for sighting his scope in this weekend.

Coming back from the top of the property we posed for a selfie.

This is where my boyes are growing up.

Gratitude for picking this guy up at the bus stop!

Good evening to everyone on this happy Monday. I am grateful for a few things today, but the thing I am most grateful for is that I was able to pick my oldest, Bennett from the bus stop this afternoon. It is rare that I am home to pick him up from the bus stop, so today was a fun treat for both of us. I was there to meet his bus at 4:15  and on the quad, which made him really happy. Yes he was wearing shorts, it seems to be his year round go to, unless it is snowing or sub-zero. His sweatshirt was shoved at the bottom of his backpack. I asked him if he would be warm enough, he gave me the slow eye roll. We took off for our 2 mile very chilly ride back to the house. He started laughing as soon as we got home and told me his hands were freezing! I laughed with him and said mine were too!

This guy and his shorts

The spectacular view from the bus stop

I feel blessed daily that I was given such a wonderful, kind and compassionate boy. As I write this he is entertaining his toddler brother. They are playing with stuffed animals, chasing each other, playing hide and seek and Bennett is thoroughly entertaining Braxton. I am so lucky to have Bennett as my son. I say gratitude prayers for him, hug him daily and tell him I love him often. My heart is full of warmth as I finish this up. I think I better go collect one of those hugs.

 

It takes a village and thank goodness I am part of a lovely village

Good Day everyone. This blog post is about my gratitude for my in-laws. This week Braxton, our 16 month old got very sick this week with a bad virus. It was his first bad cold of his life and he was not impressed with it. He ran a fever of 102-103 for a few days, runny nose, cough, and sore throat. That in itself is bad enough, but Chet/Dreamy Eyes came down with the same thing at the same time. Dreamy Eyes stays home with the munchkins so to have both of them down at the same time is tough. To top it off, things at work are very busy and it would be very hard for me to take time off, not impossible, but I would be leaving my team in a bind, so that was last resort for me.

I know first hand that it takes a village to raise a child. I was a single mom with Bennett and my family and friends were my village and did more for me than I can every repay them for. We are fortunate with Brax, Chet’s parents are living on our property while they are having a house built. They have been there since early summer and it has been wonderful. They have watched Brax during hot baseball games, while we did projects, had date nights and have helped with all around stuff. We have really enjoyed having them stay out here.

This week when Chet came down with the sickness and then Brax, his parents came to our rescue. On Wednesday evening I told his mom that Chet was not feeling well, so I was going to go into work a bit late so I could take Bennett to school and could she watch Brax so Chet could sleep in? She said absolutely. What I did not realize was that Brax was coming down with the same cold until 10:00 pm that night, when he woke up with a high fever, very runny nose, and the beginning of a cough. I tried laying him in his crib a few times but he just cried, he only wanted to be held. Brax slept on me that night in fits and spasms. We moved from the couch to the rocking chair and back every 30 minutes.He would sleep for about 20 minutes at a time and wake up crying in discomfort. At 6:30 am I text-ed Dianna (Chet’s mom) and asked if she could come down and hold Brax while I got ready and got Bennett ready. She came down and took over holding Brax. Chet was able to sleep until 9:00 am Thursday, though he was still down and out, so Dianna and Steve (Chet’s dad), spent all of Thursday at our house taking turns with Brax, helping Chet, picking up Bennett from the bus stop and making us dinner. Dianna offered to sit up with Brax on Thursday night, so I could sleep, but I just could not bring myself to let that happen. No matter how tired I was, I wanted to be the one up with him, cuddling him, loving him, and soothing him. I figure it is the “mom” gene. Thursday night was not much better his cough was worse, his nose still runny, his throat still sore and his fever lower to 99.5-100. Finally around 3 am he fell asleep on me and I fell asleep too. I woke up at 6:30am to find he was still sleeping and cool to the touch. The real test was when I put him in the crib and didn’t fuss, just went right back to sleep. I did not need to call Dianna or Steve to come watch him, which meant they slept in too. Chet got up after 8 am and Brax after 9:00 am. Dianna was still going to come down today to help Chet with Brax since both guys are feeling better, but not great. Seriously, how blessed are we to have her want to help?

I am extremely grateful to my wonderful in-laws, who have come through for us in such a big way. They did all of this out of love with no expectations. It really does take a village and I am happy to say I am part of a giving and loving village. Most of us have a village around us, sometimes it takes awhile to recognize it. Take a moment today and be grateful for your village.